Lyrics: Pay To Play (1990)

[rocknroll1968]

Pay to Play
Lyrics: Kurt Cobain

Monkey see, monkey do
I don't know why I
Walk around, follow you
I don't know why I
Pull it out, keep it in
I don't know why I
Have to have poison skin
I don't know why I

Pay
Pay to play
Pay to play
pay to play

Move an inch, take a mile
I don't know why I
Never faded, never smiled
I don't know why I
Nevermind, eat and run
I don't know why I
Fuck your ass for the fun
I don't know why I

Pay
Pay to play
Pay to play
Pay to play

-6 Apr 1990 (recording date)

Archivist's comments: These lyrics were eventually sanitised and published as "Stay Away" on Nevermind. The original lyrics are pretty obviously about Kurt's experiences with male street prostitutes. Seattle has long been infamous for rampant street prostitution in certain districts, and one of these areas, Aurora Avenue, has been documented as a favourite hang-out for Kurt.


I'm interpreting these lyrics as referring to homosexual encounters due to Kurt's other comments on anal sex, which he seems to have associated exclusively with homosexuality (as did most people in this time period), and also on his many remarks about women's rights, male sexual violence against women, and treating women with respect. It seems highly unlikely he would have been comfortable buying sex from women.

Others have mentioned an alternate meaning for the lyrics, suggesting it might be about music venues that sell artists their own tickets and make them sell the tickets to fans. This makes almost no sense in the obviously sexual context of the lyrics, relating only to the title.

This idea also appears to have originated in Heavier Than Heaven, whose author worked closely with Courtney Love to create his book. The book's credibility is widely questioned, as Charles Cross did not know Kurt or the band, and it sounds to me like Courtney came up with this interpretation as a way of "straight-washing" Kurt. She has made many homophobic and biphobic remarks over the years, including some directly to Kurt, as seen in this archive.

Edit Sept. 2021: I found a quote from Kurt that confirms that these lyrics are indeed gay.

For two other songs that use the word "faded", click here and here. Kurt and Krist seem to have had their own special meaning for the term, which appears to be used as slang for orgasm.