Quote: Kurt thought he was gay as a teen (2015)

[rocknroll1968]

Interviewer: At what point did it seem to you that he was not--can you describe the men in Aberdeen? In general?

Wendy O'Connor (Kurt's mother): No. [laughs]

Int: Well, Kurt seems very, like, different. At what age was it clear that he was not going to be a logger?

Wendy: Ok, I was thinking the other day about how I guess he thought at one point he might be gay, which is fine, I mean, it runs in our family, but I kind of felt that he was kind of questioning himself. He would ask me questions about girls. And trying to figure out how to get one, I think. That's what I thought.

And I think he was really kind of like, wondering--because he was artistic... and so I started thinking about this the other day, and he was really--he and I were really best friends. I mean, when he died I lost one of my best friends. We had so much fun talking about the world and politics and life and music and just everything. We talked all the time.

And he was very aware, especially when I was with three not-suited men, how that made him feel. He didn't like the way his dad talked to me. He didn't like the way my boyfriend after Don treated me. [...]

He and I were so close, and he was very respectful, he was very courteous, good, really good manners. I made sure of that. Because Don had none. [...] We were just really close, and I think that is what makes the difference in these roughhouse boys, you know, jocks--they're more bonded to their dads, I think, than they are to their mothers. I prefer men that love their mothers. They're just gentler, they understand women a little bit better.

And then just being an artist, he--everywhere in school, except for English and art, he felt like the jocks were--you know, I don't know. He never came home and said he was being bullied. Or that he was being picked on. He never said that. I just assumed that because he wasn't into sports [...] that Kurt probably felt a little left out that way.

And as he got older he got a little more shy. Just maybe less confident. When he was young he didn't care what people thought. And then as he got older he became aware that he wasn't like the regular guys. But it didn't mean that he didn't have guy friends, he had a lot of guy friends, but they were very much similar to him.

-2015, Montage of Heck film outtakes