NIRVANA SLASH ARCHIVE

""Those guys [Kurt and Courtney] went off into their own world and they were kind of thought of as vampires because they'd be gone and sleep all day," says Chris.

They barely spoke for five months, even at rehearsals.

But Chris was very upset about what was happening to his old friend. He would rant at Dave or Shelli, "Kurt's a fucking junkie asshole and I hate him!" Chris was angry with Kurt, he says, "Probably because I felt like he left me. I was really concerned and worried about him and there was nothing I could do about it. I was just taking my anger out on him.

"It was hard to understand," says Chris, "I couldn't get over the whole hurdle of heroin."

Part of the problem was that as usual, Chris didn't confront the problem with Kurt directly. "We've never really communicated very well when there's been a problem between us," Kurt says. "We never talk about it, we just let it pass. We've never confronted one another about things that piss each other off.""

-Krist and Kurt (1993), Come As You Are by Azerrad, page 255

Jon Savage: Did you have problems in high school?

Kurt Cobain: Yeah. You know I felt so different and so crazy that people just left me alone. I always felt that they would vote me "Most likely to kill everyone at a high school dance." You know?

(22 July 1993)

Interviewer: Some of the people who responded to the song, "Rape Me", said they were offended by it, in some way, or that they couldn't understand it. Could you explain the meaning of the song to perhaps clear up...

Kurt: Well, we're the cover boys of about ten different magazines this month and in every one of those magazines we explain it pretty good. It's an anti--let me repeat that--ANTI-rape song. I got tired of people trying to put too much meaning into my lyrics, you know, as being too...not making enough sense, so I decided to be really blunt and bold. I just thought, it's a kind of a funny, just reward for a person who rapes--like a guy, like a mean asshole who rapes a woman, violates her, then he goes into jail and get raped, you know. And I think it's a kind of justice, in a way.

Krist: Maybe being offended and not understanding it goes hand-in-hand.

Int: Yeah, well the only reason they were offended is that they obviously took it as a macho, you know--

Krist: They've been programmed by too many beer commercials, or something.

Int: Yeah, I mean, I don't really know how you would misunderstand something like that--

Kurt: I thought we made our stance on rape clear within the last year-and-a-half. Plus, anyone who knows about us would probably know that we are pretty much anti-rape, at this point, you know?

Int: Yeah, you'd think that would be clear, but I guess these were people who didn't know that much about you and were just listening to a record. I mean, you had trouble with Saturday Night Live, right? I mean, trying to get that song played. Why is that if it's this straightforward anti-rape song? Why are they having a problem with it?

Krist: Maybe you shouldn't be talking about it. It's like, taboo, you know? Daddy's bonking the little stepchild, "We don't talk about that here! Nope!".

Int: What's controversial about an anti-rape song? I guess it's the nature of...

Krist: It's a taboo.

Int: Taboo subject.

Krist: Yeah.

-24 Sept 1993

Marigold
By Dave Grohl

He's there in case I want it all
He's scared 'cause I want
He's scared in case I want it all
He's scared 'cause I want

All in all the clock is slow
Six color pictures all in row
Of a marigold

He's there in case I want it all
He's scared 'cause I want
He's there in case I want it all
He's scared 'cause I want

All in all the clock is slow
Six color pictures all in row
Of a marigold

He's there in case I want it all
He's scared 'cause I want
He's there in case I want it all
He's there 'cause I want

All in all the clock is slow
Six color pictures all in row
Of a marigold

"It's a gay publication, Kurt, so don't forget to tell them about the time you stole your tights out of your mother's drawer."

-Courtney to Kurt during his interview with The Advocate, 1993

Interviewer: Because people thought you were gay and you had gay friends, did you ever wonder if you might be gay?

Kurt: Yeah, absolutely. See I've always wanted male friends that I could be real intimate with and talk about important things with and be as affectionate with that person as I would be with a girl. Throughout my life, I've always been really close with girls and made friends with girls. And I've always been a really sickly, feminine person anyhow, so I thought I was gay for a while because I didn't find any of the girls in my high school attractive at all. They had really awful haircuts and fucked-up attitudes. So I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

I mean, I'm definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. [...] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual life-style.

(The Advocate 1993)

Interviewer: And you used to spray-paint GOD IS GAY on people's trucks?

Kurt: That was a lot of fun. The funniest thing about that was not actually the act but the next morning. I'd get up early in the morning to walk through the neighborhood that I'd terrorized to see the aftermath. That was the worst thing I could have spray-painted on their cars. Nothing else would have been more effective.

Aberdeen was depressing, and there were a lot of negative things about it, but it was really fun to fuck with people all the time.

(The Advocate, 1993)

"I've had the reputation of being a homosexual every since I was 14. It was really cool, because I found a couple of gay friends in Aberdeen-which is almost impossible. How I could ever come across a gay person in Aberdeen is amazing! But I had some really good friends that way. I got beat up a lot, of course, because of my association with them.

People just thought I was weird at first, just some fucked-up kid. But once I got the gay tag, it gave me the freedom to be able to be a freak and let people know that they should just stay away from me. Instead of having to explain to someone that they should just stay the fuck away from me-I'm gay, so I can't even be touched. It made for quite a few scary experiences in alleys walking home from school, though."

-Kurt, The Advocate, 9 Feb 1993