NIRVANA SLASH ARCHIVE

"Luckily, I found a gay friend, who basically saved me from wanting to kill myself half the time. Apparently everyone in high school knew he was gay, they just didn't bother to tell me, or I just didn't bother to notice, you know, until he decided to make a pass at me one night. And I just flatly told him that I wasn't gay, but I'd still be his friend. After that I started to realise that people were looking at me even more peculiarly than usual. And then I started to get harrassed by some of the people, especially in gym class. They felt threatened because they were naked and I was supposedly gay, so they'd either better cover up their penises or punch me. [laugh] Or both.

But then after that I started being proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't. I really enjoyed the conflict. Pretty exciting. Because I almost found my identity. I was a special geek, you know? It wasn't quite the punk rocker that I was looking for, but at least it was better than being the average geek."

-Kurt (About A Son, audio recorded 1992, film released 2006)

"I remember seeing him in high school a few times and thinking he was definitely somebody I wanted to meet. But I never saw him other than at pep assemblies. He would usually participate in some kind of a skit, or something. And I remember thinking, God, he was this really clever, funny, loudmouth person.

"I kept, you know, always making it obvious that I wanted to be in a band, I wanted someone to play with, but still Chris never wanted to. Until I made the Fecal Matter tape with Dale and always making it available for Chris to hear, and he just never bothered to listen to it until one day he just came over and said, "I finally listened to that tape you made. It's pretty good. You know, we should start a band." Ok! Finally! [laughs]"

-Kurt (1992) on his attempts to make senpai notice him in high school--he spent a whole year doing this! (from About A Son)