Quote: Kurt thought he was gay as a teen (2015)

[rocknroll1968]

Interviewer: At what point did it seem to you that he was not--can you describe the men in Aberdeen? In general?

Wendy O'Connor (Kurt's mother): No. [laughs]

Int: Well, Kurt seems very, like, different. At what age was it clear that he was not going to be a logger?

Wendy: Ok, I was thinking the other day about how I guess he thought at one point he might be gay, which is fine, I mean, it runs in our family, but I kind of felt that he was kind of questioning himself. He would ask me questions about girls. And trying to figure out how to get one, I think. That's what I thought.

And I think he was really kind of like, wondering--because he was artistic... and so I started thinking about this the other day, and he was really--he and I were really best friends. I mean, when he died I lost one of my best friends. We had so much fun talking about the world and politics and life and music and just everything. We talked all the time.

And he was very aware, especially when I was with three not-suited men, how that made him feel. He didn't like the way his dad talked to me. He didn't like the way my boyfriend after Don treated me. [...]

He and I were so close, and he was very respectful, he was very courteous, good, really good manners. I made sure of that. Because Don had none. [...] We were just really close, and I think that is what makes the difference in these roughhouse boys, you know, jocks--they're more bonded to their dads, I think, than they are to their mothers. I prefer men that love their mothers. They're just gentler, they understand women a little bit better.

And then just being an artist, he--everywhere in school, except for English and art, he felt like the jocks were--you know, I don't know. He never came home and said he was being bullied. Or that he was being picked on. He never said that. I just assumed that because he wasn't into sports [...] that Kurt probably felt a little left out that way.

And as he got older he got a little more shy. Just maybe less confident. When he was young he didn't care what people thought. And then as he got older he became aware that he wasn't like the regular guys. But it didn't mean that he didn't have guy friends, he had a lot of guy friends, but they were very much similar to him.

-2015, Montage of Heck film outtakes

Quote: Tracy on her friendly relationship with Kurt (2015)

[rocknroll1968]

Tracy Marander (Kurt's [first?] girlfriend):

I know that some people will say that I treated Kurt maternally, took care of him, but I like to think it was more trying to nurture him, rather than take care of him.
Try to nurture who he was and try to get him to--let him do his art, let him do his music, and encourage him to get better at it as opposed to trying to stifle it. But also not try to be a mom, but trying to be a nurturing girlfriend. Or friend.

We met at a party. You know, I liked him, I had a crush on him. And then finally somebody told him, 'Don't you get that she likes you?' or something, cause he was just kind of clueless about it, you know.

I liked that he was funny. He made me laugh. He wasn't afraid to be goofy or silly. But mostly we just had a good time hanging out.

-2015, Montage of Heck film

Quote: Krist on Kurt's chronic illness (2008)

[rocknroll1968]

Novoselic: Jazz drug [referring to heroin]. Then you’re inclined for medication. I can see how it was attractive. You know, people medicating themselves …. And then there’s this whole whirlwind.

Hughes: About that stomach ailment that he was cursed with?

Novoselic: It was weird. It was real, I mean it was real. I remember he would throw up so much he couldn’t throw up any more. I took him to doctors, specialists.

Hughes: You would think that some of those specialists could have hit on something.

Novoselic: I don’t know what it was. I don’t know what, that’s a mystery. You’d think they’d find something. I think it was just the crap food. Here’s the deal, like, we don’t have a lot of money, OK. So we go to like AM/PM, in Olympia. Right behind the lottery office there was an AM/PM there. And it was like, OK at least I got a hot dog. We’re hungry, right. He gets a fucking ice-cream cone. And I’m like, “No wonder your stomach hurts. Why are you eating ice cream?” And then he looks at me and gets all pissed off , like I’m telling him what to do. But I’m the dude who drove him to the frickin’ hospital, or hanging out with him while he’s puking his guts, and trying to help him. So it’s just like, you know, “Oh, don’t do heroin.” And I’d get the same look. You know what I mean? So where the heck am I going to go? What am I going to do? What can I say? “You eat this greasy hot dog instead of the ice cream cone.”

-14 Oct 2008, Interviewed by John Hughes for the Washington State Heritage Center